After my post yesterday, I felt really good. Scared, but good.
Then, last night, I woke up at 1am, remembered what I wrote… and wanted to punch myself in the face.
But, then, I woke up this morning and I felt positive again. There is something about the morning that always brings optimism no matter the situation. It’s almost as if the sun comes up and sprays glitter on everything.
Or, it’s the coffee.
It’s probably the coffee.
So… I went to my dresser and with optimal enthusiasm, I grabbed my cutest sports bra and my most comfortable workout pants… (By the way, is there a new appropriate term for workout pants? Are they all considered yoga pants now? I’ve lost all confidence in my ability to speak since my teenager told me “sweat pants” are now called “joggers.”)
Anyway, I stripped down to nothing, looked myself in the mirror and thought, Ok, this may not be too bad. Dehydration apparently has it’s benefits, because I woke up with a somewhat flat stomach. I think I can do this!
And then I put the bra and pants on and whaaaat…. the…. fuuuuuu…..?!
Are all sports bras constricting like this? Was mine always like this? Why is it so tight?! And why are my pants so tight around the waist?! Basically, my top and bottom are working together to push everything out the middle like a spiteful twenty-pound mound of bread dough.
I am a balloon with two rubber bands tied around each end. That’s what I feel like.
Why can’t they make a sports bra and yoga pants that suck everything up into their respective areas?! Something that sticks to and stretches your body in a sort of Gumby effect, so that your stomach is left taut and flat.
I took the photos and I promise you that they are unedited. Didn’t touch a thing – just uploaded them to my laptop. I’m not happy with the selections, but the one super clear shot I had – also had a completely naked four-year old running directly behind me. (She couldn’t get her onesie pajamas back up after using the bathroom and so she just abandoned them altogether after apparently realizing how wonderful being naked feels as you’re running around your mom’s bedroom while she’s trying to take a very emotionally traumatic photo).
So… a few things before we get to the photos:
Potential Judgers: As I said yesterday, this is solely my plan and my journey. I realize I’m physically bigger than some and I realize I’m physically smaller than some. But, again, this is my story. We come in all shapes and sizes and each person gets to decide which size they feel their most comfortable in. I am not comfortable right now (and I am 100% not in my comfort zone showing these photos), and so I’m doing something about it. For my health… and for my vanity (not gonna lie).
Potential Sponsors: I have already received an offer from a sponsor (isn’t the blog world amazing?) since my post yesterday to strictly use their program/products on this journey. I am not interested in doing one particular program during this self-challenge, but thank you! If you have a product that I can trial test briefly (not the duration), I will be happy to use it/review it. But please keep in mind: I will be 100% honest in my experience/review and I will also not review something that I have no interest in or that I think could harm me (or my readers).
Potential Exhibitionists: If you look at my photos and think, I, too, would like to put myself out there and possibly resemble a busted can of biscuits for the world to see, let me know! Although I am not following a particular program – or starting/joining any groups – I would be more than happy to also show your “current photos” if you think this will also keep you accountable or catapult you into bravery. (Don’t worry, I can use fake names and we don’t have to show your face.)
Sooo…. here we go…. weighing in at a lovely 149 pounds, at 5’3”…. (man, I am really putting it all out there)…. I present…..
*I seriously had to triple-check those photos and make sure Ivy’s naked little butt wasn’t camouflaged anywhere.
So, there you have it. Me. I’ll take photos again in a couple weeks. I’ll post occasionally on my progression/regression/depression/oppression.
I will not only post on my new fitness/weight loss journey. That can get real old, real quick. For everyone. This is going to be a here and there thing, I promise.
I hope you have a lovely weekend! I’d love to say I’m having a bottle of wine to forget this whole thing, but I’m detoxing and am forced to remember every last detail.
p.s. – I hope you enjoy this post and the photos – much like you enjoyed the post where I bought and reviewed the Instant Pot, because none of you would buy it yourselves and told me to take one for the team and let you know if I lived without blowing up my house.
p.p.s – You’re all just the worst.