• Three things I stopped trying to control in favor of happiness.

    First off, I feel that I need to tell you that I advised my four-year-old she was going to get worms if she doesn’t wash her hands well enough after using the bathroom. I clearly did not think that through, because she is terrified of bugs and, therefore, it backfired on me big time.  She now pees with her eyes shut and won’t look at her underpants in case worms are present. She also nearly removes an entire layer of skin when she washes her hands. I can’t say it enough: Mother of the Year over here!   Anyway… I was recently talking with a new step-mom who is struggling…

  • Free yourself from Second Wife Syndrome

    Why is my house quiet? Why did I wake up this morning without my three year old staring at me ala The Ring? The reason for this temporary euphoria is because my 13-year old step-daughter had a sleepover last night. And when big sister has a sleepover, our youngest considers herself a plus one and doesn’t leave her sister’s side. So, I have a house with teens and a toddler all sleeping away until likely noon. Cue birds chirping and mice singing while making me a pot of fresh coffee. A lot of people ask me how it is to have the girls so far apart in age, and my immediate…

  • New name, old me.

    I’m re-branding! Wait, scratch that. I’m a human, not a brand. I’m re-naming! There. Less fancy, more real. Yep, I’m re-naming. Everything.  For several reasons… all good (I think). Read more below about why The Velvet Hive is being quietly led out the back door (with parting gifts, I promise! I’m not a monster…) and a new name/look/blog is being ushered in and welcomed with open arms (I hope). *** Ok, first… New Year = New Look. Who doesn’t love a fresh start?  I certainly do.  You know how Madonna always re-invents herself?  Well, The Velvet Hive has left the Papa Don’t Preach stage and is now entering the kinder, gentler mama…

  • Herding cats and pterodactyls.

    So angelic, right? Yeah, keep reading.   First things first, I have eaten cheesy hash brown potatoes (leftover from Thanksgiving) for breakfast every morning since last Thursday. I don’t know why I felt compelled to tell you that, but I thought I should cop to it somewhere. I feel better. Moving on… The holidays are officially in full swing over here in the Farmer household and I couldn’t be happier. What is it about holiday music and movies and decorations that brings such a feeling of utopia to so many people?  It’s almost like earth pumps out uppers into the hemisphere getting most of us high for the entire month of December.…