• Three things I stopped trying to control in favor of happiness.

    First off, I feel that I need to tell you that I advised my four-year-old she was going to get worms if she doesn’t wash her hands well enough after using the bathroom. I clearly did not think that through, because she is terrified of bugs and, therefore, it backfired on me big time.  She now pees with her eyes shut and won’t look at her underpants in case worms are present. She also nearly removes an entire layer of skin when she washes her hands. I can’t say it enough: Mother of the Year over here!   Anyway… I was recently talking with a new step-mom who is struggling…

  • Yes.

    *** I want you all to know what I was thinking about as I lay in bed last night. Why has no one invented spray-on wrapping paper?  Like, you could spray it on all the presents in one easy swoop – and then it just peels off when people unwrap. As you can tell, we brought in 2018 like rockstars. So, we have another holiday card on the books and I have to admit, 2017 was tough. Every idea we came up with seemed too snarky – or we knew would greatly offend at least some.  And truthfully, our goal is to make people laugh – not rage.  (Though I did…

  • Deprogramming

    *** Two posts in two days. My head must be spinning… The truth is I’m going through a bit of manic anxiety. I don’t even know if that’s a thing, but that is how I feel right now. My moods are swinging very high and very low – more often low, and I have a pent up energy that is screaming from my stomach to throat, trying to escape the cell block of my mind. My foot injury and inability to walk or drive has left me a lot of time to live inside my head. In these long hours, I’ve had a lot of time to think about… everything.…

  • A WHOLE New Way of Thinking

    *** “I mean, you were never fat, but…,” a friend. “Freshman 15? More like the Freshman 30,” a boyfriend. “Over capacity on elevator! Elevator’s going to break because of girl in green jeans,” a stranger. “She looks like she’s lost weight, has she? No? Oh, I thought she had…” a family member. These things were all said to or about me over twenty years ago. It’s funny how I can still hear them all so clearly in my head even today. I know exactly where I was. I can tell you exactly what I was wearing. No, wait, scratch that.  It’s actually not funny that I remember it. It’s incredibly sad. Words can…